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A Granite Sack and Legs of Log
09 July 2008 @ 11:30 am
dear nashvillest:

i'm in ur blog, makin snow angels. (and i love the fact that said blog's editors went to flickr, found the 'snow angels' tag {presumably}, and decided jenni's photo of me was their favorite. makes a dude feel downright pretty.)

***

dear facebook:

what's with scrabulous disappearing completely at random intervals? if it's going away, i will do whatever the metaphorical internet equivalent of setting facebook on fire might be, so watch it.

***

dear everyone on the ol' friendslist:

i'm pretty much not in any condition to focus at all today, aside from a few very tiny laser-sighted work things that i absolutely have to get done. because, you see, tomorrow we're heading up north to the hallowed shores of (near) leech lake and the sacred relatively profane grounds of moondance jam, northern minnesota's greatest classic rock festival/massively drunken weekend-long party.

which means today's basically my friday. and while the rest of the world is having their friday, i'll be doing things like watching sebastian bach and being amazed he can still walk upright, and searching out the crowd at the poison show for stray rock of love outcasts.

it's gonna be a good weekend.

catch you guys on the other side.
 
 
Feeling Strangely: TWANG
 
 
A Granite Sack and Legs of Log
08 July 2008 @ 09:07 am
1. i'm in the midst of the world's most tedious work project (desk-based, non-rock-breaking division).

2. my girlfriend is currently trading her car for a sizable check, which has led us to discuss, among other things, whether a nissan z is awesome, or too douchey to be awesome.

3. my parents are hanging out at my apartment right now, though they may have already decamped to do whatever it is they do when they're visiting and i'm at work. i know route-planning for their trip to the neil diamond concert in two weeks was going to be involved.

4. we had a highly awesome independence day weekend that involved barbecuing (of course), bocce, rock band, scrabble and much funtimes with dan and kate, my phone being wrecked in a kayaking incident, and then a trip to the fabulous black bear casino and hotel in the duluth neighborhood. man, duluth is a great city to spend a totally unplanned day in.

5. today's improved considerably since my sunroof peed on me this morning.

***

and now this, stolen from extraneousrooot, because i like it:

Post something that makes you awesome in the comments of this post. Do it. DO IT NOW.
 
 
Feeling Strangely: WINGER
 
 
A Granite Sack and Legs of Log
03 July 2008 @ 10:26 am
in sheer defiance of the wishes of george bush, i just used my newly-deposited economic stimulus check to catch up on bills. i am weirdly and deliriously excited about this fact, not merely because for once in my life i managed to use a sudden cash influx responsibly instead of buying booze and sports memorabilia, but because it's a kind of vastly useful step toward getting my fiscal shit together. man, that feels good.

and, as an unintended cosmic reward, i also got, a month earlier than expected, my state property tax rebate. which i will now attempt not to blow on booze and sports memorabilia.

oh, also, it's apparently some sort of holiday weekend. this is awesome, as it means i can pretty much do fuck-all at work today, and then literally nothing work-related in any way for the next three. our plans are pretty free-form at this point, and may either involve a lot of time on the couch or a road trip, depending on how adventurous we're feeling (and how clean my house is prior to next week's mom-and-dad visit.)

for now, since uni watch did this, i'll leave you to the holiday weekend with this: the declaration of independence. even after all these centuries, it's still one hell of a read.

happy independence day, america-types. and happy weekend (soon) to all the rest of y'all.
 
 
Feeling Strangely: CHING
 
 
A Granite Sack and Legs of Log
02 July 2008 @ 12:01 pm
jenni and i had date night (tm) last night, and, not only was it a hell of a lot of fun, it came with at least two revelations:

one: cafe maude, which would be walking distance from my house if not for the giant hill in between the two, is astonishingly good and also not just for old people, as i'd previously kind of thought. didn't recognize the chef's name, had no idea who the bartender was ... but, damn, we had the best food and drinks you'd ever think possible on a patio wedged in between a hardware store and a duplex. to wit: the charming man, my first cocktail, which involved gin, cassis, and a drop or two of spanish sparkling wine, and was served on the rocks with a side dish of a dunhill cigarette. it was damn near magical. as was the fig-infused martini (with espresso liqueur and sherry) that jenni had; i remember there were other drinks, but they weren't quite as eye-poppingly ridiculous, just standard-issue amazing.

and the food: best fries in the twin cities, to start with -- thick, almost-but-not-quite too salty, and served with a side of cheese fondue with some sort of truffle thing in it. and, while jenni's caesar with a tempura-fried egg looked awesome, i can say for certain that my duck-confit-and-blue-cheese-and-balsamic on top of grilled flatbread pretty nearly gave me either an orgasm, an aneurysm, or both, right there at the table. i could eat that every day until my heart stopped. (so, a week.)

it's a bit spendy, as you'd guess, but you're damn sure i'm going back as soon as possible.

two: wanted was freaking awesome. something like a cross between fight club and the matrix, but without much of the social commentary of the former or the gothy religiosity of the latter; all of that was replaced with precisely what you want out of a summer action movie: a ridiculous plot that provides an excuse for sexy people to drive sexy cars and do sexy stunts in sexy costumes and fling around a lot of cool weapons. oh, and actual decent one-liners. and ass de jolie, however briefly. i haven't had that much fun watching a movie in a long time. (frankly, the headline of pajiba's review said it best.)

and in closing: i also found out, when our conversation drifted to the vast volume of crappy soft-rock songs about tropical locations, that the 'kokomo' the beach boys sing about is actually the name of a poolside bar at a resort in islamorada. take that, kokomo, indiana!

have a lovely hump day, dudes and ladies.
 
 
Feeling Strangely: BANG
 
 
A Granite Sack and Legs of Log
30 June 2008 @ 11:29 am
how many times have you said to yourself, 'man, i wish there was a video of jay-z at a giant festival opening his set with a cover of 'wonderwall' by oasis and then doing a version of '99 problems' that samples the guitar part from 'back in black''? well, wonder no more; courtesy of jenni and the good people at minneapolis fucking rocks, i am now able to share with you just such a video. it's the greatest thing i've ever seen.

***

also great: the spanish victory at euro 2008. i found myself rooting for the spaniards throughout the tournament for a couple reasons. one, they, along with the dutch, played far and away the most attractive soccer there, and i'm all about style points. (the slog with italy notwithstanding, they were more or less full of more pieces of flair than your average shenanigan's employee.) and, two, i have a searing and slightly gay man-crush on cesc fabregas. and, thus, seeing them finally take home a damn trophy, during cesc and torres's first really serious time with the national team, was pretty glorious. glorious enough that their tournament run put a serious dent in attendance at a porn festival. that's dedication, homes.

(speaking of both porn and germany losing in a soccer final, the deutschefussballbund experienced the further ignominity of their national five-a-side topless women's beach soccer team being defeated by austria, too. that stings like sand in the crack, right there.)

***

and, now that i've offered you jigga covering the gallaghers and half-naked soccer, i'm pretty much spent in terms of content. the weekend, she was excellent, and full of outdoorsness and dancing and the twins winning on a joe mauer home run (rarer in these parts than decent grits) and poutine at a bar (likewise) and, somehow, underwear-clad dancers of all possible genders. and today, it is monday, and just way too nice out to be at work. and, yet, work i shall. sort of.
 
 
Feeling Strangely: ENRIQUE
 
 
 
A Granite Sack and Legs of Log
due to a quirk of scheduling, i wound up with eight hours of vacation that i had to use before monday. and, thus, i have today off. which is glorious. insofar as it's a sunny, gorgeous, hot friday, and i got to sleep in and then, after much better coffee than i get at work, go downtown for lunch with my girl and wendy. if i had my druthers, every friday of all time would be like that.

and then, for the rest of the afternoon, i shall be dedicated to facebook scrabble, wii fit and porn, until it's time to head to the twins game and, after that, the first of a series in a variety of bars which we will be tearing up over the weekend.

in short: this is a damn good friday. hope y'all's are the same.
Tags:
 
 
Feeling Strangely: OBERON
 
 
A Granite Sack and Legs of Log
25 June 2008 @ 10:28 am
as of last night, i have now played frisbee golf a total of two times in my life, and i have a question for people who have done so more than that.

the first time i played, it was a lot of fun; the park in which the course was located was nice and woodsy, with ample fairway space, a few weird angles to test one's skills, and generally a good old american pastoral experience.

the second time, last night, the course was located mostly on the side of a ski hill; "fairways" were replaced with "dirt roads" and/or "expanses of prairie grasses so tall that even a good throw resulted in ten minutes looking for your damn frisbee and trying to avoid ticks." there were holes laid out on the sides of treacherous ravines, blind approaches, and more climbing than i've done on at least a couple hiking trips.

so, i'm wondering, disc-golf aficionados, which is the norm. if it's the former, i'd like to try playing it some more, because i like to throw things. if it's the latter ... anyone want some golf frisbees?

***

it occurs to me, also, that i've been remiss of late in my duties to present you awesome things from the internet. and, thus, i present you: lego heaven (thanks, doran, for pointing that out); mysterious unbreakable african baseball bats (there's a pedro cerrano joke in here somewhere); bizarre albanian traditions; minnesota's best burgers (we missed you, dara!); and zombie kickball.

this may not be all for today, as my workload involves (a) waiting for our IT guy to come back from vacation, (b) playing scrabble and (c) trying to figure out some sort of unauthorized underground way to watch the germany/turkey fussball semifinal.

word.
 
 
Feeling Strangely: THE POWER OF LOVE
 
 
A Granite Sack and Legs of Log
23 June 2008 @ 01:38 pm
you may or may not have noticed that this weekend contained the official beginning of summer.

and, damn, if it wasn't a good old-fashioned summer weekend, in honor of this.

it featured everything a good summer weekend ought to:

leaving work early on friday, which i did, in order to join jenni's coworkers for happy hour on the boss's tab. we took nothing if not full advantage of her largesse ... or we tried to, and she kept telling us to order more. which we did, staying long enough to play the pub quiz and make jenni's colleague mary miss the bus.

barbecuing in a yard, which happened shortly after this happy hour; mary came along with us because, by some strange calculus, it'd be easier for her ride to get her at ryan's. fortunately, she also survived her trip to the kind-of-terrifying schooner bar; while we went to the store to get grillables, mary meandered bar-ward to go get a hiccups cure. things i learned: the old guys in the schooner bar are not terrifying, and a half a lime coated in bitters apparently cures you of hiccups. and, i'm pretty sure, of the ability to taste anything ever again.

attending a rock and roll show. the detroit cobras made their way back to town, and, while their set was a little lackluster (the singer was annoyed with the sound, mostly), we got to see les sans culottes, who were goddamn amazing even before they did french covers of "these boots are made for walkin'" and "my sharona." also, there was an opening opening band that played really decent metal, and who we saw for like three songs, and who i just spent twenty minutes trying to figure out the name of. my google-fu is strong ... but if any of you dudes happened to be there, let me know.

sleeping in and watching fútbol, which happened pretty copiously given that there were euro 2008 quarterfinals on at a decently un-early hour both saturday and sunday. the saturday game, aside from the part where the team i was cheering for lost, was fairly awesome, and i'm now desperately hoping andrei arshavin winds up with arsenal. and the sunday game was lousy -- thanks, italy, and your decision not to attempt anything offensively until 120 minutes had passed and it was time for PKs -- but ultimately glorious, insofar as my man-crush cesc fabregas hit the winning PK to put spain through.

going to a very awesome wedding, which we did for all of the parts of saturday that weren't taken up with soccer. my friends mike and chrissy got hitched; the wedding itself was really nice, on a lovely veranda overlooking a lake. then there was the part where, knowing there were more pictures and a lot of driving around for the wedding party, we all spent the lacuna between ceremony and reception at a bar halfway between the two. and the part where the newlyweds entered the reception to the rocky theme. and the part where the groom's brother, as expected, gave a fabulously inappropriate speech. and the part where the wedding party sang 'i'm a little teapot.' (that was after the other sing-along.) and the part where we snuck up to pete's hotel room and jenni and drank scotch out of stolen tumblers.

(after that, things are hazy. there was dancing, and very large jager shots, and an excellent time, even in the absence of mental details.)

hanging out by the lake, which was basically the only activity we had the energy for yesterday. and which was pretty much perfect.

and, now, like all good summer weekends, we have to endure a monday. which, i am now noticing, is nearly over ... and this is a very good thing in itself. hope y'all had red-letter weekends, too.
 
 
Feeling Strangely: MERCI
 
 
A Granite Sack and Legs of Log
20 June 2008 @ 08:06 am
holy crap, you guys. i sort of forgot that you can actually type in this little box, and not just read what other people have typed. this is very exciting.

anyway, i've pretty much spent the entire week this week somewhere in the vicinity of the zone, workwise, and instead of typing things on the internet, have been doing things like building new sites for our field offices and renewing trademarks and being very, very crabby with lawyers. aside from that last bit, it's the good kind of busy, by which i mean i do a bunch of ass-kicking, spend time playing scrabble and making plans to sit on patios, and then leaving as early as humanly possible because it's actually nice out.

which pretty much rules. and we've gotten our fair share of alfresco boozin' in, discovering such glorious things along the way as the $2 happy hour cheeseburgers at sally's, and the fact that this guy rides a bike to work. oh, and i came thisclose to winning the quarterly pub-quiz-winners drawing for a trip to boston, last night; i was one of the five finalists they drew, but, alas, will have to content myself with trips to south dakota and moondance jam and las vegas instead. SIGH.

and, today, it's the cruelest possible day to be stuck at work. i have a 10am meeting, which is absolutely the only thing on my to-do list, and then i believe i will read the internet, reflect on how awesome i am, and sneak out the door as close to, like, noon as possible.

so, how y'all doin'?
 
 
Feeling Strangely: HEY LA
 
 
A Granite Sack and Legs of Log
13 June 2008 @ 03:24 pm
for the last two days, up til a couple hours ago, i was faced with the horrifying prospect of insanely slow internet at work, allowing for only the barest necessities of use and basically ruining any chance i had to kill time with sports blogs, recipes, euro 2008 match reports, nightlife listings or boobs.

and, for obvious reasons, this also prevented me from posting. so, four things i missed mentioning (or that just happened):

1. kickouttheiambs had a birthday, and now i will officially, publicly and belatedly wish her a happy one.

2. we booked ourselves a trip to vegas, to coincide with pete and klein's trip to vegas, in october.

3. i tied with a ten-year-old for third place in a four-person bocce game.

4. i was nominated for my work's employee council, which is as double-edged as swords get. on the one hand, i'm incredibly competitive, so i don't want to lose the election. on the other hand, i hate meetings, which are basically the raison d'etre for the employee council, so i don't want to win. and, with hara-kiri seeming to be maybe a slightly too over-the-top response, i'm at a loss for what to do.

and, now, i will let my last words for the week be this link to cracked's post of the 11 most bad-ass last words ever uttered. have a good weekend, dudes and ladies.
 
 
Feeling Strangely: RAMSES LUTHER
 
 
 
A Granite Sack and Legs of Log
11 June 2008 @ 01:55 pm
it occurred to me this afternoon that the last five or so meals i've made for myself have included: chilaquiles, campbell's soup, massively overburdened tostadas, grilled pork chops and bangers & mash. and i just finished eating some leftover lasagna that work thoughtfully catered in for meetings today.

i have, it appears, become an international man of comfort food.

and am thoroughly amazed i haven't slept through most of the last week, after all that. the prognosis for this afternoon: YAWNING.

***

in news that's less full of tryptophan and starch: complex has the trailer for the new coen brothers joint, burn after reading. which looks, based on these two minutes, pretty awesomely goofy, insofar as it involves brad pitt as a knucklehead who works at a gym, finds a cd of classified documents belonging to john malkovich, and has to run away from bearded george clooney a number of times. cross your fingers that it's more raising arizona and less intolerable cruelty. not that it matters much; i'll see it on the first weekend anyway, if only for clooney making a butt-sex joke in the direction of tilda swinton.

***

aaaaand ... yep. that's all i got. hope y'all are well.
 
 
Feeling Strangely: GOITER
 
 
A Granite Sack and Legs of Log
10 June 2008 @ 03:16 pm
i may not have all that much love for the yankees, but this is awesome: yankee fans booed the sun.

that's just the most epic boo of all time. nice work, the bx.

***

totally unrelated to anything about that other than the fact it's sunny: there's a car in my office's parking lot with the vanity plate MS DIRTY. it's there every day, so i can only assume that ms. dirty works here. in my office building. which is, aside from our rented space, the home of a large bank's mortgage division.

now, i don't own a house, but if and when i decide to buy ... man, i hope ms. dirty brokers my mortgage. you know you're not gettin' a better rate anywhere.
 
 
Feeling Strangely: MIZ, IF YOU NASTY
 
 
A Granite Sack and Legs of Log
09 June 2008 @ 01:42 pm
this is the sort of monday that, regardless how gloriously sunny and eminently lazy it is, makes me realize that there are few things better than summer weekends.

for, since we last spoke:

• i gorged myself on sushi friday night in celebration of orsi's birthday, while catching up with punk-rock soccer fans and debating the couth-ness of drinking sake out of the little leaf-shaped dish they put the glass in to catch the overflow (verdict: it's my sake, and i'll slurp if i want to).

• we hung out in shelbyville, drank with kris and many other folks i haven't seen in a while, and still managed to make it home at an hour that ensured functionality, sort of, the next day.

• we spent the day out in the sun at canterbury park for the races, and i managed to break pretty much exactly even on my bets.

• jenni got a very special birthday present, in the form of an accidental $50 win; we'd placed bets on the belmont stakes mostly to have a souvenir if big brown won the triple crown, but her first bet was on the wrong race. she saved the ticket anyway, just to check if it was a winner ... and it turns out the 1-4 exacta on the seventh race at belmont paid 50-1. in related news, she's picking all my horses now, but only with her eyes closed.

• a five-year-old spent hours playing with the lego model train in my apartment; his mom (cindi's aunt) and a dozen or so other people came over for jenni's birthday barbecue, which officially had the most different kinds of meat ever recorded at a celebration for a vegetarian.

• there was also a great deal of tequila, which, after we decamped inside to avoid neighborly wrath, fueled a lot of guitar hero heroics.

• we stayed up very, very late watching soccer and sobering up, which led to our getting to birthday brunch around 2 pm; this was followed by a trip to eagan to hang out with the ripley family and receive presents, including the wii fit that we'll be setting up this evening. i plan to eat an excess of bacon and smoke a pack of cigarettes consecutively before trying it, just to make sure the bar's set good and low.

and then there was sleep, and actually waking up to see the sun, and being a little less bummed than usual that i had to go to work, because i was, y'know, awake for once. and, in fact, the only dude that arguably had a better weekend was this guy, a couple weeks ago, who managed to spend the night locked in his local. a feat which i've now added to my own personal life to-do list.

***

in other monday news, if you need your day spiced up via awkward coitus and raquel welch with a strap-on, the good folks at ifc and nerve have you covered: they just posted their countdown of the 50 worst sex scenes in movie history. (you can cleanse your palate, too; it's a companion to their compendium of the 50 greatest). and, while i'm browsing ifc's site, i'd also be remiss if i did not point out a couple of web-tv series that i haven't yet watched, but which i'm assured are pretty quality timewasting of their own: wilfred the pot-smoking dog, which is just what you'd think, and young american bodies, which is apparently hotter than sweatpants in august.

and, speaking of which, we're heading to kmart tonight to try to find a pair of these in a relatively grown-up size. wish us luck, and have yourselves as weekend-like a monday as you can muster.
 
 
Feeling Strangely: FOOFARAH
 
 
A Granite Sack and Legs of Log





america, fuck yeah! and if the twins aren't your team, don't worry. there's a whole range of them, including patriotic-themed new york yankees ones, for double the america.

i'm sticking with the twins one, though. it's actually got a better on-base percentage than mike lamb this year.



***

anyway, dudes and ladies, it is friday. and the sun keeps threatening to come out for the first time in what i'm pretty sure is six weeks. fortunately, it's still mostly just threatening, and there's a 650mph wind to make sure we still know our place. but i shall not be dissuaded! for the weekend is mere hours away, and will involve sushi, and booze, and possibly margaritas for brunch tomorrow, then a day at the racetrack, then, weather willing, a whole lot of grillin'.

for, like lady-liberty-of-the-metrodome up there, we're americans, dammit, and that's how we do.

i think i'm swelling with pride. that, or i'm hungry. i'm off to investigate.
 
 
Feeling Strangely: AMOR Y LIBERTAD
 
 
A Granite Sack and Legs of Log
05 June 2008 @ 02:18 pm
internet, i'm going to talk about my underpants now, because the internet is for oversharing.

of late, i've been using h&m as my underwear source, and it's been a good experience. their boxer briefs are comfortable, and they are not boring-looking but also not incredibly over-the-top goofy. they're right in the middle of the continuum that features plain white hanes on one end and the international male catalog on the other.

they're good underwear, is what i'm saying.

mostly, they hold up to the number of washings a dude gives his underwear in an average few months, too ... except in one way, and that's where things get problematic. while they're generally well-constructed, the elastic around the legs appears to be some strange swedish elastic/shrinky-dink hybrid that shrinks, on average, about 8% per laundry day.

and, so, if you've ever wondered what it's like to walk around looking 90% fresh to death but wearing tourniquets around both thighs, i can now tell you: not great.

and, now that i've typed 165 words more about my drawers than i expected to when i got up this morning, i shall go back to work.
 
 
Feeling Strangely: INZAGHI
 
 
 
A Granite Sack and Legs of Log
04 June 2008 @ 01:54 pm
dear timberwolves general manager kevin mchale:

no. NO. do not even think about what they tell me you're thinking about. because you're thinking about using your #3 pick to draft a less skilled, less athletic, less intimidating version of your current best player who will thus contribute in basically zero way to a team that needs someone to step in and contribute, like, now, and whose chief appeal is, i'm pretty sure, the fact that you and him have the same name.

so consider this a warning: if you somehow decide it's in your best interests to make kevin love the third pick in the draft, i'm done.

and, mchale, you can't afford that. i attended like seven of your admittedly crappy basketball team's games last year. there are entire zip codes of the metro area that, collectively, didn't go to seven of your team's games last year. your team plays my fourth-or-fifth-favorite professional sport and, yet, like it or not, i'm pretty much the core of your fanbase. so, please, see your way clear to using one of your highest draft picks ever to at least make an effort -- o.j. mayo, that italian dude, chris douglas-roberts, a trade to cleveland for a pair of lebron's kicks ... i don't even care if they pan out, but i do care that you're not mailing it in quite so obviously, okay?

yours in pooh richardson,
matt

***

other than my lather over the possibility of kevin mchale once again thinking about making the single move most opposite what my favorite basketball team needs, not much else to report. the sun is threatening to come out for the first time in like six days, though, so i think i'll go stand outside and bask in the sunshine marginally brighter overcast, before it leaves. hope y'all are well, and you should most definitely go issue some very fond birthday wishes to the_mittens. happy birthday, dude.
 
 
Feeling Strangely: LO QUE PASO
 
 
A Granite Sack and Legs of Log
03 June 2008 @ 04:06 pm
yesterday, i went to an awesome baseball game, which the twins won in their last at bat on an rbi double from my favorite troubled outfielder.

then, i went home, and got to watch 2.5 periods of overtime hockey.

today, i kicked a great deal of ass at work.

the rest of the week, i'm going to at least four birthday-related events in five days.

yep, life is good.

***

in unrelated news, here is the previous best soccer-related tv ad ever, courtesy of guy ritchie. and here is arguably the new best, courtesy of boobs. (safe for work, unless your work frowns on lingerie-clad girls dribbling soccer balls.)

and here, i think, is the best thing anyone's ever done with legos and a camera.

***

and on those notes of awesomeness, it's pretty near time for me to go home. hasta la banana, dudes and ladies.
Tags:
 
 
Feeling Strangely: BOUNCE
 
 
A Granite Sack and Legs of Log
02 June 2008 @ 01:03 pm
i think this goes down as a red-letter weekend, indeed, and not just because it was maybe the first official weekend of summer and the first weekend in lord knows how long that i actually slept in (rather than, say, getting up to look at the ocean or eat a giant camp-stove-cooked breakfast, so i'm not actually complaining, here.)

at various points in roughly chronological order, i found myself:

• sitting at a comedy club in a '50s-vintage motel formerly known as the thunderbird, still full of 'indian' decor, listening to my boss's husband's comedy routine and cringing at the bits about sex. (it was entirely awesome, though, despite those bits of questionable comfort with the subject matter).

• hanging out at our unlikeliest of hangouts, the bennigan's off i-394, afraid to go play darts in the upstairs bar due to an excessive and impressive train-wreck quotient that periodically filtered down the stairs and made us fill in the socio-dramatic gaps on our own. near as we can tell, there were 500 people who all knew each other because they used to come to bennigan's with their fake ids when they were 19, like, three years ago.

• sleeping. a lot.

• sitting on the couch reading about soccer and smelling the process of jenni making a pie that i would later wish to marry.

• riding around minnehaha falls and environs in the gayest bike of all time. also, winning at bocce.

• putting myself into a meat-and-bourbon coma at the strip club, where we gathered for stage one of the_mittens's birthday celebration, and where we also monitored the very tiny, very intense storm that blew through, offering ten minutes of rain to st paul and a giant hailstorm to edina.

• recovering from said coma to meet up with more people for celebration: phase two, at mayslack's, where in addition to many laughs and many drinks, we were also greeted by two double-decker party buses worth of people crowded into the bar; rumor has it that they were a christian singles mixer, and, frankly, if you've never been at a bar filled with 150 christian singles, my friends, you've never really been at a bar.

• going to celebration: phase three, at the otter, where there were many shots and much karaoke, and mattron getting the band back together (caution: video of noisy bar). klein, in case you're wondering, i decided to get you bitchin' backup vocals for your birthday.

• did i mention sleeping? a lot?

• waking up at the crack of noon, eating pie (note: not a euphemism), and then getting on over to one of the few days a year i must spend in st paul: grand old day. the added bonus this year was that the weather was more perfect than it has maybe ever been on grand old day.

• standing about a foot from the doomtree crew, while they put on two hours worth of absolutely kick-ass show. (caution: video of awesome rap.) this show was so good it made me enjoy my bottle of miller chill, which is saying something. also, conveniently, crappy light beer is fairly good for rehydrating yourself when you're dancing for two hours in 85-degree weather. sometimes, i drink for fun; sometimes, though, i drink for health. i'm a responsible motherfucker.

• sitting on the sidewalk outside salsa a la salsa, with a chelada and a pile of tacos, testing and proving anthony bourdain's hypothesis that everything tastes better when you're not wearing shoes.

• collapsing for several hours on the couch before ... oh, right. sleeping. a lot. again. right up to the moment i had to come back to work.

and that pretty much brings us back to 'd'oh.' tonight, i shall be heading domeward to watch the twins play the yankees; tomorrow, in not-as-exciting news, i will be down to my last pair of underpants and thus opting to do laundry rather than ... well, anything. hope y'all had equally fine weekends, and, though it's monday, kindly recall that there'll be another one soon.
 
 
Feeling Strangely: WE GOT BIG HEADS NOW
 
 
A Granite Sack and Legs of Log
30 May 2008 @ 12:33 pm
i'm not sure how, exactly, dr. emmett brown got hold of my day or what he's trying to pull with this flux capacitor* business, but somehow every hour of work seems to be comprised of roughly 458 minutes. holy lord, time could not be moving any slower.

especially since, on the horizon, there's a trip to the comedy club to see my boss's husband tonight, followed by glorious sleeping-in tomorrow morning, then bike riding at the falls in the afternoon and klein's birthday celebration, part one, at the strip club and various bars in the evening, followed by more sleeping in, followed by grand old day on sunday.

in other words, many things that are (a) awesome and (b) not work in any way.

now it's just running the marathon of boredom that is my last four hours at work to get there. anyone got a clif bar?

***

(*that reminded me of one of the all-time great examples of ska bands with 'ska' in the name. my top five, at least as far as i recall [it's been a lot of years]:

• flux skapacitor
• skanorrhea and the burning sensations
• the skaskank redemption
• metalliska (that was actually an album title, but still)
• the skalcoholics)
 
 
Feeling Strangely: SKAVOOVIE
 
 
A Granite Sack and Legs of Log
29 May 2008 @ 02:03 pm
so, in a couple of hours, i will be off work early, because, at last week's board meeting, i forgot to bring back to the office our video-camera tripod. i felt a little stupid about this, until i realized that (a) it meant i had to go get it and thus (b) i had a very good excuse for leaving the office early and (c) going downtown in the late afternoon, a time and place that features, among other things, target, and my girlfriend, and bars having happy hour.

and, so, we're going to a bar. i haven't been to a bar in nearly two weeks, unbelievably. ordinarily, this would seem like a heroic and herculean bout of temperance, but the shine rubs off that particular trailer hitch a bit when you consider that in those weeks there's also been the draft party and the camping trip that featured the devastation of around half the contents of this bar.

that said, i fear i'll forget bar etiquette and operations, it's been so long. here's hoping that, tomorrow, i will have made it there and home without forgetting to tip, spilling long island iced tea all over my pants, or poking myself in the eye with a straw.

cross your fingers.

***

(p.s. i solved yesterday's video problem by breaking the file up into five chapters and importing 'em into iDVD. which was a bit of a pain in the ass, but got the job done. thanks, y'all.)
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Feeling Strangely: BUTTAH